Connecting the roots and trees of ancestors ...and learning, preserving, sharing

Saturday, October 22, 2022

DNA cousin connections - the ones with NO dates, and so much private - but a tree!

 A common lament for those of us who engage in researching family history using DNA connections is the one with NO dates listed, no indication of country, no indication of their rough age, and name.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

For the past several years, a DNA cousin of mine has eluded me in terms of our connection. A 66cm match for me, 52cm match for my brother, not a match for my mother (my father died before I had a chance to get him to test). So yes, the obvious is I can narrow it down to my paternal side...but THIS is what I had to work with:


first and last name for 3 of 4 grandparents...how was I to figure out what seemed an impossible task. Spoiler alert (I did figure it out, and this is how):

I had NO idea who this dna match was to me, but with a 66cm, and 52cm match, I narrowed it down to a likely 3rd cousin - and perhaps as distant as a 4th, and added the "removed" possibility of a generation as it seems both parents are alive, and possibly one of 4 grandparents.

This took me to looking only at paternal lines of mine, and no more distant than my 3x great grandparents. I felt it most likely to be a match with one of my great grandparents, or 2x great grandparents, so I began from what I felt the closest possibilities were. I looked at our shared matches and was able to narrow it down to 4 of my 2x great grandparents as possibilities. I sort my DNA matches by known ancestor, and in unknown maternal and paternal for those I haven't figured out.




The first names available - Robert, George, Annie...sigh. For my match, I took the last names of George and Robert and started searching for possible parent matches, phone directories, city directories, marriages, anything...a few possibilities came up, all in England. None of my ancestors were from England so I was going to try the two names that had the best Irish or Scottish possibilities. Thanks to the middle initial of Annie being the one additional clue provided, I was able to narrow down the marriage of my DNA cousin's grandparents to less than half a dozen, all in England.

I then also looked at Robert's side, and his last name, also Scottish, and set to work in my own tree (I have just over 10,000 names in the tree I have built and researched over nearly 20 years).

I started from closest relations and went through my dad's journals, and great aunts and uncles and all of those I didn't have a huge amount of documentation for. I narrowed in on my father's AUNT. She had died in childbirth at the age of 29, my father had said her husband had committed suicide soon after, crashing a Rolls Royce. He had no details of her husband's name. My father did write the first names of the children, and what he thought was his aunt's name and position in the family. The children's first names were all correct. His aunt's name, and her being the youngest were not. Last week I found and paid for the death certificate I felt might be this aunt's husband's death. It confirmed he had worked in the motor transport industry, and he had died from fractures to the skull and nose less than 3 weeks after she died. I felt like this HAD to be a great possibility for this strong DNA cousin match that I have been struggling to figure out for years.

For this aunt, I had already written out many theories, and found enough voter registration lists and other documents to know his last name. I don't know where the 3 children lived and grew up as they were so young when they lost both their parents, and they did not stay in touch with my father and his family - when they died, he lost 3 first cousins to tragedy and time and the World War that would begin only a year later.

But I had a prospective last name to search with. Could this be Robert's wife? the living PRIVATE grandmother of my DNA match. I searched more records, one of the orphaned cousins popped up in Scotland in a marriage that would fit the approximate marrying age of my father's 1st cousin - in Scotland. I tested the theory and immediately found several public registers (voter registrations/phone books/city directories - these are go to's for me). CONFIRMED

This vague, undetailed tree with less than a handful of names, thanks to the steps I followed and a middle initial to help, solved a years' long mystery - not just for how I matched this DNA cousin, but what happened to the children orphaned after the tragic loss of their parents. One of my father's 1st cousins had something of a tragic end - in his 40s, in the US, alcoholism named in his death certificate, alone, without family, but the other 2 had remained in Scotland and built lives and future generations.

the DNA match - my second cousin, once removed. My great grandparents, her 2x great grandparents. Her father is my second cousin. 



Saturday, October 15, 2022

reno and refresh - the main is mainly done

outside of some finishing touches, the main floor is mainly done. the dust has settled - many times - as evidenced by the amount of cleaning I have done since construction ended in the second week of September. There were several mistakes made, including a cracked window, but for the most part I can live with or disguise the mistakes, because the overall feel is right.

The furniture arrived immediately after Thanksgiving (after I hosted a gathering of 20 people), furniture that was supposed to arrive on Sept 10 and instead Oct 12.  At some point I may post the refresh of the other 2 floors above, but this floor, the main floor had the biggest change, from dark to light, from cluttered and broken to flowing and functional.

How do people do full home renovations and stay sane and competant? I missed my garden, the peace of it in summer, but cannot imagine this in the winter, or really any other season than summer. I feel like I can breathe and celebrate and have people leave their energy imprints in this space. It is set now for more than just us, to enjoy with others, and that has already been a big focus since the majority of the reno is done. Still to do are bits and bobs, reorganising, hanging curtains, another round of dusting. But it feels like home, likely because I designed, sourced, saved for, and loved this space through the changes.

It is happy and light, this is what 117 years looks like xo

I have several versions of these bar stools, they are stackable (12 in total - all were used over Thanksgiving last weekend) The "tiles" on the island are stickers I added for an inexpensive way to dress up this side of the island. Remember the white toe kicks? I had the paint matched to the cabinets and laid down on the floor, on my side and painted that way for several hours to get it done!

the tiles I added, and behind the glass doors of the pantry are family dishes given to me years ago, and relocated as I am now using the hutch as a bookcase and storage area in my treatment room/office

I put together the breakfast nook (there may have been a lot of expletives involved in the building of this as I had to drill spaces for the screws to fit into properly, and there was a lot of that) I added art cards and a string of lights to disguise the light fixture placement mistake. On the wall is a map I had blown up and printed at a photo centre - this one was from 1902 with our street and the immediate neighbourhood only

my island dream, hood fan and on the shiplap wall one framed image only, the image is a map of Ottawa from 1888 and includes our street. The shiplap is otherwise too lovely to cover, love the textures and layers with shiplap wood and hexagon tile

bathroom refresh! New vanity, mirror, lighting, accessories, and I found and installed this beautiful art wallpaper

this bit of wallpaper marks the former location of the bathroom door, shiplap covers its other side, but may add something at a later date

grouted and finished, and light pours in

the chaise is one of the items that arrived, I added a simple rug and existing artwork and old chair. I am sitting on this chaise right now, writing, looking at the rest of the kitchen

context in terms of location within the kitchen space

the french doors looking into the treatment room with sleeper sofa

sleeper sofa that arrived this week in my treatment room

I wallpapered to cover cracks and messes of this wall so that I could get away with not having to paint the whole room - french door where there was a solid door blocking light. Repurposed an old side table as well, added some old art cards and covered with glass, new sectional arrived this week

view from living room toward the kitchen, The only new things are the sectional and rug

looking from the wing chair in the living room through one of the open french doors into the treatment room (I have curtains there too, ready to draw for privacy)

inside the treatment room looking out to the front door, keeping it uncluttered!


front door to kitchen look. I wallpapered the entire entryway to the top of the stairs

immediately to the right of the front door, separate entrance into my treatment room.





the doors - French doors

I managed to source gently used French doors on kijiji and also from the ReStore (habitat for humanity). We made them work. I was unwilling to wait the months required for new, but also wanted to have doors that felt more at home in the space than new would.

these 4 doors managed to fit incredibly well! three of them for between the treatment room/office and the new living room, and the 4th to replace the door that blocked the window, but leads to the door to the basement






I've gotten reasonably good at installing door knobs and bought only these polished bronze ones with an oval shape. they feel older to me.

the 4th of the doors - scored 4 doors for a total of 200$ and they were a near perfect fit!

60$ from ReStore I liked the curved detail at the top for the door nearest the front door, going into the treatment room/office


reno and refresh - let's see it come together

 the end of August, the return to school brought an end to the major parts of the kitchen reno, and where finishing touches could begin. The next part would be about french doors, but first, the kitchen starts to shine!

the lights, the beam, the 8 foot length of quartz

the quartz continues and the beautifully revived floors with their matte finish (no more overly shiny polish!)

I may have hugged the quartz counters - stunning

the openings almost makes it look custom

grout a few days later, but the pretty transition is realised! the hexagon tiles, a few of these for the backsplash with smaller hexagons, and these larger ones to lead to the patio doors and the new bathroom door

the hood fan, and the solid transitions to hexagon waves/hills

coming together. It isn't a huge kitchen but it feels spacious with its light and blocks of colour. Notice the toe kicks are not blue, that is for another post.



reno and refresh the home - putting it all back together

 the rebuilding process - the original (unrealistic) date we were given was early to mid august. but things did shift - the cliche light at the end of the tunnel. Money poured out, but changes poured in.

I had insisted on a shiplap wall - the view from the front door through to the kitchen would land on a shiplap wall. I had decided on a visual inspiration that would hopefully evoke a blend of cape cod with french provincial. I felt that matched with the house, and because we were keeping the near blonde, original hardwoods throughout the space, those styles felt like a good fit, and shiplap is a beautiful and simple representation of it. The navy and the blonde floors would speak to the blues and yellows of french provincial, with the large windows. A fury of ordering what was in stock and picking out quartz countertops were all part of the whirlwind that was August.

The hope was simply to be done before the teens were back in school in the last days of August. The contractor had promised it would be before then. Promise broken, no real surprise. But this house is worth all the trouble.




wrong spot...sigh, was supposed to be closer to the window as I was building a breakfast nook to go in under the corner windows

same and yet different, these ground the 8 foot island!



week 7, progress (the first pic is looking from the front door/foyer to the kitchen - and that visual of the ship lap wall)




reno and refresh - creating doors to open

 A month in, and I insisted that the one small entrance between the kitchen and old dining space just wasn't enough. The focus was to bring more light in, and after pushing the contractor, and my husband dealing with him because the mounting frustration I might have mentioned was getting to that point where I knew I couldn't speak kindly or rationally. 

Early August saw an additional opening being created by tearing down part of the wall between the kitchen and dining area, a lovely, near 1 metre width of non-load-bearing wall space to let light in!

flow, not congestion, for people and light!

looking into the kitchen (old tv/bedroom)

lots of work for the very talented wood expert who fixed and matched the beautiful original hardwood floors so well

new entry into the old bathroom

light!!!!!!

light! looking into the old dining room after the partial wall removal

the hood fan gets covered (contractor wanted me to go with an exposed stainless steel hood), I wanted a simple enclosure that would quietly blend with the wall



reno and refresh the home - changing the plans again

 When going through renovations in a home that is nearly 120 years old, you have to be willing to redraw the plans on the fly. There was an old chimney right by the small doorway between the dining room and kitchen, so that could not be widened (I did think it would be opened to the ceiling but was surprised and upset that nothing was done except that the original framing was mistakenly torn out...for no reason :(

Frustration. that period of 3 - 6 weeks was filled with frustration that mounted, permeated the unfinished, dusty remnants of the old kitchen and spaces.








3 weeks in, the main thing that had changed was the ceiling was being insulated for the first time...